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Prominent Evangelical leaders from many mainline denominations, as well as a few non-denominational pastors, unanimously declared at the annual “Prominent Evangelical Breakfast” that those who do not attend a church-sponsored Super Bowl party will be given over to Satan. The decision and declaration was motivated by dwindling numbers at...
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The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Galveston, Texas is excited for the Super Bowl this year. We were fortunate enough to visit the archdiocese and speak with Daniel Cardinal DiNardo, the Cardinal of the church. When asked about the Super Bowl taking place in their great city, Cardinal DiNardo said, “Who allowed...
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Bill Belichick is widely considered one of the greatest coaches to ever don an inappropriately-grungy hoodie in the National Football League. Known for his meticulous preparation and child-like giggles, Belichick told reporters this week that the Patriot offense is ready to execute the much anticipated “Ark of the Covenant”...
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The Church of Scientology boasts of millions of loyal followers worldwide and several high-profile celebrities, including Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Oscar the Grouch, Kirstie Alley, and Elisabeth Moss. However, despite its relative success, it appears to have been built upon an elaborate, somewhat illogical plan toimpress a woman. L. Ron Hubbard, former member of...
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In its latest effort to combat apostasy, the Vatican has issued a formal boil water advisory to parishioners world wide. Speculation has grown within the Catholic Church in the last three years regarding the quality and sanctity of drinking water reservoirs world wide. Many believe the earth’s water has...
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A man in Clackamas, Oregon is holding a bird hostage and making violent threats. Police arrived at the man’s home when neighbors complained of loud, booming Christian music, particularly that of Carman, and strange erratic shouting. Neighbors claim he was yelling something about sponsoring children and and sticking the...
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In an unprecedented press release, Shadow Mountain Community Church announced the launch of four new flavors of David Jeremiah. We don’t want to put words in your mouth, but soon you’ll be screaming, “Salty salmon cakes! That is one tasty treat!” The new flavors consist of Cucamonga “Jerry Berry,”...
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1. Thoughtful people started dozens of beautiful, piping-hot fires to roast meats and make s’mores for families in poverty, which is charming. The amount of fires that were set in order to bring raw meats to a bacteria-less, edible state restored our faith in humanity. Smoke could be seen...
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The Happy Happy Happy Holiness Church of Blue Ball, Arkansas hosted their monthly potluck last week. Reportedly, everyone received full stomachs and happy hearts — until things escalated to an inscrutably bad level that we we’d all rather avoid if we just had the choice. Billy-Bob Bolin, beaming with...
Prominent Evangelical leaders from many mainline denominations, as well as a few non-denominational pastors, unanimously declared at the annual “Prominent Evangelical Breakfast” that those who do not attend a church-sponsored Super Bowl party will be given over to Satan. The decision and declaration was motivated by dwindling numbers at...
The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Galveston, Texas is excited for the Super Bowl this year. We were fortunate enough to visit the archdiocese and speak with Daniel Cardinal DiNardo, the Cardinal of the church. When asked about the Super Bowl taking place in their great city, Cardinal DiNardo said, “Who allowed...
Bill Belichick is widely considered one of the greatest coaches to ever don an inappropriately-grungy hoodie in the National Football League. Known for his meticulous preparation and child-like giggles, Belichick told reporters this week that the Patriot offense is ready to execute the much anticipated “Ark of the Covenant”...
The Church of Scientology boasts of millions of loyal followers worldwide and several high-profile celebrities, including Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Oscar the Grouch, Kirstie Alley, and Elisabeth Moss. However, despite its relative success, it appears to have been built upon an elaborate, somewhat illogical plan toimpress a woman. L. Ron Hubbard, former member of...
In its latest effort to combat apostasy, the Vatican has issued a formal boil water advisory to parishioners world wide. Speculation has grown within the Catholic Church in the last three years regarding the quality and sanctity of drinking water reservoirs world wide. Many believe the earth’s water has...
A man in Clackamas, Oregon is holding a bird hostage and making violent threats. Police arrived at the man’s home when neighbors complained of loud, booming Christian music, particularly that of Carman, and strange erratic shouting. Neighbors claim he was yelling something about sponsoring children and and sticking the...
In an unprecedented press release, Shadow Mountain Community Church announced the launch of four new flavors of David Jeremiah. We don’t want to put words in your mouth, but soon you’ll be screaming, “Salty salmon cakes! That is one tasty treat!” The new flavors consist of Cucamonga “Jerry Berry,”...
1. Thoughtful people started dozens of beautiful, piping-hot fires to roast meats and make s’mores for families in poverty, which is charming. The amount of fires that were set in order to bring raw meats to a bacteria-less, edible state restored our faith in humanity. Smoke could be seen...
The Happy Happy Happy Holiness Church of Blue Ball, Arkansas hosted their monthly potluck last week. Reportedly, everyone received full stomachs and happy hearts — until things escalated to an inscrutably bad level that we we’d all rather avoid if we just had the choice. Billy-Bob Bolin, beaming with...
Eye Roll...
Wow...
John Hagee, known for his stalwart, prophetic preaching on Trinity Broadcasting Network and his wildly successful, yet incredibly misinformed book, “The Four Blood Moons,” is back in the game....
“It all started innocuously enough,” said Margie Meatzenkampf. “Then before I knew what was happening, pastor Bell’s eyes rolled back and his hair instantly grew into a luscious, curly...