Some of us left the packed theater 100% confused and gaffaw-ing over and over again. Some of us were a bit upset that the actors weren’t acting like they should’ve been acting, always going on and on with their big, loud lines and action and dramatic renderings of certain scenes. Some of us are readily admitting our disappointment in The Rise of Luke Skyscraper – who definitely wasn’t the heroic slayer of zombies that we expected him to be.
Add in the fact that this installment was suppose to cap off 131 episodes of The Walking Dead and that Baby Yoda didn’t, in fact, explode himself to destroy a host of incoming zombies like I was led to believe by my uncle Ricky: this movie left me completely lost.
Constantly Sick
I got sick over and over again throughout the film. In a saga of man versus already-dead-but-kind-of-alive people, of human nature versus diseased, partially-functioning gross humans, I barfed my popcorn all over the people in front of me.
I was one sick boy. Thankfully, an elderly woman (she had bad teeth and breath, but hey, at least she cared enough to let me rest my head on her legs), called my next-of-kin to give me a ride home after he was done at the laundromat. He did, thankfully, come to pick me up, but it was twelve hours later and I was locked in the theater with nowhere to turn and lots of bathroom to make.
Swears
There were several times in the movie that it seemed like the characters were going to swear. Baby yoda was in a rocket headed for some dumb planet that I can’t remember the name of. As he was reaching for a button, he might’ve gotten shocked by static electricity or something. This would’ve have been a place that maybe a swear could’ve happened and made the audience laugh or gasp, depending on where you stand with swears.
Another moment when it seemed like a character would swear was when Luke Skyscraper turn on his magic sword and the heat of it clearly bothered him. It was as if it was hotter than he was prepared for. Maybe it was just me, or the popcorn that I had way too much of, but a swear almost came out right then. It really seemed like it.
Kyle Red
Kyle Red, the committed detective unafraid of almost everything except for would-be father figures, is maybe the most confusing zombie-killer of them all. He won’t kill Rey, the nastiest zombie who keeps getting close-ups throughout this ridiculous film. I kept waiting for Kyle to shoot her head or knife her in the temple, but instead he let Rey roam all these planets in ships and rockets. What a waste!
Conclusion
For fans of The Walking Dead, The Rise of Luke Skyscraper is really confusing; it’s almost better to not watch it because it will leave you guffawing constantly. I felt zero emotions, which may have been the Ambien or just the fact that I was lost throughout.
Rey, Kylo, Finn and Poe seemed like cheap throw-ins to the zombie thriller. Some of the action sequences might make you want to jump out of your seat and and slap your hands together rhythmically, but only because you’re a rube. The film does not tie up the saga powerfully and beautifully, as some idiots say, because it isn’t coherent.
This movie gets ⭐️⭐️
