S.C. Chapman, a world-renowned gymnast who isn’t overweight at all, has written and performed some of the greatest Christian hits of all time. Even after 70 years of constant, deathly quiet, and morbidly-intense performances, The Chap hasn’t worn out his welcome with the fans. The fans still replace clapping with horsey neighs like the old days, and boo whenever Michael W. Smith’s portrait is shown on the big screen. No doubt about it: the fans still adore Steph Cheapskate’s slobbery grin and parachute pants he insists on wearing backward.
Here are our top-5 Steven C. Chapman songs of all time:
5. Throw a Loaf of Bread In the Direction of Daniel’s Lion Den
Old Steve has never been known to sing terribly low. He’s a tenor at heart. Throw a Loaf of Bread is a classic simply because he sings at such a low register that the sound is completely imperceptible by the human ear. The beat is coarse. The 63 trumpets overwhelm the senses. Listeners are brought to an uncontrollable rage when they realize they won’t be able to hear Champ’s sultry, oppressive voice. This is why Throw a Loaf of Bread is in our top-5.
4. Keep Reading Me That Reader’s Digest
Big, Skinny Steve loves to include symphonies in his music. Handsome cellos and violins fill the listeners waxy ears as they hear a 17 year-old teen read an article from Readers Digest in Keep Reading Me That Reader’s Digest. You can hear Charmpmarm agree warmly with the teen as he stumbles through an interesting story on birds and bugs and stuff. At the 46-second mark, Steaveen plays the chorus of Saddle Up Your Horses very loudly, chuckles for a bit, and maybe eats some yogurt next to the microphone, frustrating the boy.
3. Bread in the Shape of Mine Heart
The strings that kick off “Bread in the Shape of My Heart” are so urgent they transport listeners straight into a fiery Hell. Then they settle into a sparkling song that’s a constant disappointment until its final note. The tension of that journey is echoed in the lyrics, “This Bread I found on the side of the highway is now in the shape of my heart because I tore off some pieces on the sides.”
2. Judge My Bread Bowl
This song convinced us to order a bread bowl with broccoli and cheese soup inside because it was incredibly descriptive of what a bread bowl with soup inside of it would taste like. In the final chorus, Steven Cruntis Charlse challenges Michael W. Smith to a rap battle that was not to include any curse words or names of NBA players. The two would eventually rap-battle under intense enemy fire from the Red Army. Both were transported to the hospital with big and awful wounds.
- Daniel Had A Bread Bowl Too
Whatever you may think of Chapman’s Internet controversies or viral hits, there’s no denying his immense talent or his fearless, experimental influence on the CCM landscape. This is seen most cogently with Daniel Had a Bread Bowl Too, a sultry Afrobeats-driven anthem full of loud microphone-taps and paper-ripping. The track is a sonic delight, showing off not only Steven’s flexible legs to great effect but featuring the versatility of genres that he’s managed to not only confuse with other genres, but accidentally mix with his music.
