Discerning: Pulpitandpen.org Added A List Of Churches That Kind Of Look Like Satanic Temples When You Squint Real Hard


Pulpitandpen.org, the beautiful, awe-inspiring “Rolex of Discernment Blogs,” has done it again. What an amazing website!


According to Jeff Maples, one of the handsome writers at Pulpit and Pen, they have created a brand-new page listing all the churches in the United States that sort of look like disgusting synagogues of Lucifer when you squint real hard. “We are concerned about these churches,” Maples told us while performing several card tricks. “When I look at them, they appear to be normal, every day churches. Then I squint really hard and it immediately becomes apparent that these are actually the ‘Devil’s Cottages.’ This, along with the stories we are mostly fabricating for next week, is the ‘Downgrade’ that C.H. Spurgeon was talking about.”

Want More Discernment?

The magnificent new page includes pictures of neat gargoyles, a clock counting down until the next time J.D. Hall creates a “discernment oopsie” to draw more clicks, as well as each Satanic Church slightly blurred to help you discern for yourself.

“We take the art of polemics seriously,” writer Seth Dunn told us while chomping down on some asparagus and powning some theological noobs online. “If you want to find out if your church looks somewhat like Satan’s Sweet Residence when you squint pretty hard, come on over to pulpitandpen.org and click ‘Domiciles of Satan’ at the top. You will not be disappointed.”

What a wonderful addition!

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