Local Atheist Sets Out To Disprove Christianity By Not Feeding 5,000 People After Telling Them He Would

"Christianity makes no sense. Patton Oswalt taught me everything I know."

Ron LeBlanc of Fayetteville, Arkansas became weary of the Christian-cause when he was twelve years old:  “I remember my parents taking me to church every Sunday morning and every Sunday night, dressing me up in suits and ties, and begging me to not stuff tortellini in my front and back pockets to eat during the service. It ruined my childhood, and is probably the reason for my Type-2 Diabetes,” recalls an emotional LeBlanc. “This is how I will prove their religion false.”

LeBlanc, fair-skinned with a skinny figure, has personally invited five-thousand men and women from the greater-Fayetteville area to meet him on a hill near some farm land; this is where he plans to “totally pown Christianity.”

“They’re all gonna’ show up so hungry because I told them to come at 5:00pm Central Time. I’m going to do some tricks, recite some poetry, and sing a few songs. Then the real magic happens: a person I’m planting in the crowd is going to raise her hand and say she is “hungry.” The murmurs will be palpable,” laughed Ron. “A young boy will stand up and offer me five raw fish and some loaves of bread. I’ll bless them, and immediately eat all of it — in front of everyone!”

Ron acknowledges that he will probably develop violent food poisoning from the warm, uncooked fish, but, to him, it’s all worth it if one of those “religious rubes” turns from the error of their ways. “Christianity makes no sense. Patton Oswalt taught me everything I know. If atheists want to turn the world upside-down, they need to invite five-thousand people to sit on a grassy-knoll, injest some raw fish, and prove once-and-for-all Christianity is a bunch of alt-facts.”

Categories
News
Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.

RELATED BY