6 Signs Your Pastor Might be Moonlighting in a Mariachi Band

Look, we all understand. With today’s economy, it’s tough making ends meet with the income from just one job. Lots of people are...

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Look, we all understand. With today’s economy, it’s tough making ends meet with the income from just one job. Lots of people are looking for secondary sources of income, and some folks in the business call it “moonlighting,” which is “frowned upon” in “some circles.”

We here at The Daily Cherub have extensive experience with reconnaissance (recon) and intelligence (intel)…you could go as far as to say that “Dick Tracy” is our middle name. We’ve done you the favor and uncovered 6 signs that your pastor might be moonlighting in a mariachi band. Because, as we all know with pastors and mariachi bands: it’s not if, it’s when.

1. Your pastor’s Spotify activity has been flooded with Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán songs

Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán is one of the oldest and most famous mariachi ensembles,   which obviously makes them the gateway mariachi band. Once he’s into Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán, he’s hooked. Block him on Spotify if this is too much for you to handle.

2. Your pastor has been carelessly leaving sombreros at every meeting

When was the last time your pastor earnestly wore a sombrero? We’re not talking about wearing a sombrero for the Harlem Shake video or the Harambe Swing Dance challenge, we’re talking about intentional wearing. That’s right, you probably can’t remember. Kiss your uncles goodbye, for your pastor has changed.

3. Betwixt the curtain doth the bell tolls; the cry of many, the plight of souls

Don’t let him out of your sight.

4. Your pastor constantly asks you about Spanish guitars and trumpets

He may simply be curious about what instruments are currently selling at Guitar Center. Cut him some slack. His son Plimpton spilled cold juice on his corduroys yesterday. He’s clearly stressed and not thinking straight. Just answer his questions about Spanish guitars and trumpets the best that you can, or you can refer him to Ask Jeeves.

5. Your pastor walks up to you and says “I have been moonlighting in a mariachi band.”

You can’t read into this one all that much. There is a lot of ambiguity here in this statement, so really this isn’t a lead at all.

6. Your pastor replaced the praise band with a mariachi band

It’s 2016, soon to be 2017. He may just be wanting diversity in his church. What better way than to replace the church’s Gungor-like group with a true, genuine mariachi band! We don’t think this has anything to do with his preferences and affiliations. Just enjoy the ride and don’t look back.

Well, there you have it. This was one of the easier cases for us to crack. We hope this enlightened you to the possibility of your pastor being smack dab in the middle of a mariachi band when he should be solely focused on pastoring your church. Stay vigilant!

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