There’s nothing worse than a poor idiot of a guy refusing to take his hat off out of respect for God and country. That is exactly what dirty old Kent Wilkerson has been doing for more than a decade and we can hardly look at the guy let alone write about the doofus.
The last time Kent took his hat off during a public prayer was at a church cookout in July of 1995. “He took the hat clean off, and most of us could see his white, salty scalp,” Judy Pickles-Mammoth told us. She was there that infamous day. “We stared and stared and stared at his dry head the entire time Parson Tom gave the blessing. It glimmered unlike anything I have ever seen. Now he is reprobate.”
Kent forcefully took his cap off that day, and held it firmly in front of his body, showing perfect respect and reverence. Now it is unclear what exactly led him to keep the old rag on his head after that. “When he took that hat off for the last time in ’95, I remember it being done so purely and reverently,” Moses Dillbank recalls. “We clapped for him after the prayer was all over because he executed the move smoothly. Billy Graham, Charles Finney, Stephen Spielberg, and our founders would be proud. Now he is dead to us because he won’t reveal that white salty scalp when Reverend recites his beautiful prayers.
One day Kent will take that hat off to show adequate respect — but that day isn’t today.
