The New Challies App Will Alert You Every Time Tim Eats Lasagna

"Perhaps this app will finally give us a window into the life of the mythical figure known as Tim Challies."

Every single lasagna Tim Challies places into his gullet will be accounted for through his new iPhone app, which came out on Thursday. Good, bad, hot, or cold: you’ll never be left to wonder about Challies’ lasagnas again.

“The Prince of Blogging loves lasagna, and we can’t wait to keep his fans abreast of all the details,” a recent press release to Christianity Today stated. “Through the app, you can certainly access his 253 million blog posts from his website, but your favorite feature will be the ‘Lasagna Tracker.’ Tim will typically stuff eight lasagnas per month into his stomach, so, to be good stewards, we have decided to keep his readers in the know.”

Timchallies.com is widely considered to be the standard for Reformed blogging, receiving millions of views per year. Challies writes about false teachers, reviews books, and has exhausted nearly every single Evangelical topic to date. He has not, however, given others much access to his personal life.

“We don’t know much about him, other than the fact that he is a full-blooded Canadian and has all the needed bones and cognitive ability to type cogent thoughts about the Bible. Now I feel like I will get to know the real man behind the computer screen,” Rich Young told us, a regular reader of the blog.

Perhaps this app will finally give us a window into the life of the mythical figure known as Tim Challies.

Categories
News
Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.

RELATED BY