Orange Juice Simpson, former NFL star and Hall of Famer, was officially released on parole today and literally everybody’s talking about it.
Titillating!
After serving nine years in prison, Simpson finally gets a taste of sweet, sweet freedom. Amazing.
The star was convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery and 10 other charges for assembling a gang of five men a year earlier for help seizing game balls, plaques and photos from a hotel and casino complex. Simpson always insisted he was merely reclaiming mementos that had been stolen from him.
Now he’s perfectly qualified to become a televangelist!
Juanita Bynum, Jim Bakker, Robert Freeman, Creflo Dollar, Gilbert Deya, and Tony Alamo are all televangelists who, like Orange Juice, have spent time in prison. Believe us, OJ has all the credentials he needs to become a TV preacher now that he is out of the big house.
Exciting days ahead!
