DC Talk Thankful For One Last Hurrah Before Michael Tait’s Eyebrows Become Sentient And Take Over His Body


The Jesus Freak Cruise finally set sail last week, and “the boys” are oh, so grateful for the memories. This is mostly because Michael Tait’s eyebrows are slowly becoming self-aware and are taking control of his entire body.

What a blessing!

It has been a slow turning-over of bodily control, according to Tait, who is resigned to the fact that he will have to spend the rest of his life living under his two eyebrows’ dominion. “There are two them…so…I’m a bit outnumbered,” Tait told his adoring fans from the stage last Friday night. “They even have names now: Chris and Bernie. As Chris and Bernie, my nearly-sentient eyebrows, take over, I expect they will do a fine job overseeing my movements, my diet, and my singing career. It is up to them here on out.”

Kevin Max and frontman Toby Mac are extremely grateful they get to spend this week with the Newsboys star. “His brows are already learning our songs and demonstrating basic cognitive skills, such as communicating fear, happiness, and exuberance. I’m really glad we could spend this week with Mike before he turns the reigns over to his unruly, yet sentient eyebrows,” Kevin Max told us while holding some asparagus in his right cheek.

Toby is thankful for how the week went overall. However, there were some unfortunate moments that stick out in his mind. “We sang Jesus Freak. Let’s just say by ‘we’ I mean us three and Tait’s two brows Chris and Bernie. They sang as well. Like I said, they are slowly becoming more and more sentient, and they kind of killed our vibe.”


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