The truth hurts: your potlucks are so boring. People leave them with full food-bags but are silently angry at your lack of preparation and innovation. Old Lady Beatrice keeps filling up her plate and throwing it right in the trash to protest this mess of a gathering! It’s time to spice up your potluck, and here’s how to do it on a budget.
1. The Set-Up: Every Table Gets a Belushi
Your deacons are deacons but they can also make excellent Jim Belushi impersonators. Prepare them for a long night by giving each of your deacons a scene from a Jim Belushi TV show to act out or quote aggressively. Each table will be set up for a whole night of strong laughs and rounded lips that form smiles because of your well-trained deacons.
2. The Meal: Food Droppings
You’ve placed your prepared meats and Indian delicacies on long, buffet-style tables for decades — it’s time for a change. Nets secured to your ceiling will contain all the major food groups: Salt, Steaks, Gum, Cheesy Mashed Potatoes, Oranges, Weasel, and Gravy. At intervals of five minutes, your Belushi Deacons will walk to The Rope of Stomach-Embulgance, pull, and release one of those nets, permitting your attendants to catch their next course.
3. Moment of Silence for the Troops.
This one takes five minutes and requires total silence. We recommend starting over a-new when children make noise to teach them the value of troops.
4. Dog-Fighting Ring
Perhaps a little more controversial, this segment of your next potluck will create quite a buzz in your community.
5. The Airing Out of Grievances
Set up a microphone in front of your group and allow those who came to your food party to talk about things that make them angry within your congregation. Allow them to let the accusations and sharp rebukes fly as no publicity is bad publicity. Your participation at the end is critical to close the night out. As people are leaving, they will simultaneously feel shame and full gutty-works because of all the steaks and gum they ate.