Unstoppable: 5 Ways To Be More Like Daniel Next Week

"Lions are very expensive to rent, so they are optional."

It is time to make something of yourself , and you can do it by being more like Daniel this week. Here are five ways to do it.

1. Dig a large den underground and toss some of your coworkers down there for a while. 

Lions are very expensive to rent, so they are optional.

2. Strap a fog machine and mini-generator on your back. Leave a sensational trail of dream-clouds in your office building as you move to-and-fro.

Daniel interpreted many dreams for Nebuchadnezzar. Becoming a human fog machine will help your coworkers begin difficult conversations about dreams and their meanings.

3. Put together fantastically clean and well-planned blueprints for your boss without spilling any coffee on your work.

Get some work done on your journey to becoming more Daniel-like this week.

4. Buy forty pounds of provolone cheese, take a full day to melt each block with a beautiful microwave, fill a plastic kiddie pool with the cheese, and let all the neighborhood animals have at it.

Be a good neighbor like Daniel probably would’ve been if he lived in your nasty sub-division.

5. Bring bags full of change to purchase all the food items in your office’s vending machines. Immediately shove the food down a bathroom sink while reciting this poem: “The food of Babylon will make me unclean; this food that I have purchased is full of white cream. I have gleefully sent these snacks down to Hades; I have chosen the sink to avoid getting scabies.”

Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.