Trigger Warning: Christian Podcaster Finally Gets 20 Listeners But They Ended Up Being The Duggars

"I resolved to give my three to four audience members the best Steven C. Chapman fact-nuggets I could muster."

Rick Jimhammer has been hosting “The Folding Chair” podcast for two years, a show dedicated to the life and work of Steven Curtis Chapman. According to the faithful host, he typically enjoys an audience of three or four listeners per episode.

Wow!

Rick breaches subjects such as S.C. Chapman’s first album First Hand, as well as S.C.C.’s signature “hotdog routine” before he begins each performance: Chapman stuffs his mouth full of hotdogs, says a prayer, and releases the dogs into the hole of his guitar. According to episode seventy-six, S. Curtis Chapman will dump the dogs from his guitar into a bucket labeled “The Concert Is Over Go Home” when the night is finished.

Though very few listen to Rick, he insists that each “The Folding Chair” episode is full of interesting nuggets such as this one: Steven Curtis C.’s real name is Curtis Curtis Curtis.

“After two years of consistent plodding, I thought I had finally broken through. Perhaps this venture, in which I have spent thousands of dollars, will finally turn a profit,” Jimhammer explained. “One day, I noticed my stats spiked considerably. I was so thrilled. I got on the floor and wept for hours. I was just crying and crying because I was so happy.”

Then Rick got bad news.

“After several hours of letting out potent screams of joy and purchasing a boat named the ‘SS Carlton Banks,’ my wife turned on a reality TV show about the Duggar family. I then realized that all those clicks were from the young Duggar boys, Jackson and Justin, using a mouse and desktop computer for the very first time. They were aimlessly clicking, stumbled upon my work, and immediately clicked over to the Carl’s Jr. website when they were finished.”

Rick was understandably disappointed that day, but remains steadfast in his endeavor to become the foremost authority on all things Chapman. “After I crashed the ‘SS Carlton Banks’ into another boat named after Carlton Banks of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, I resolved to give my three to four audience members the best Steven C. Chapman fact-nuggets I could muster.”

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