It’s amazing what will get Christians all hot and bothered these days. Here are eleven, seemingly minute things that annoy us, but shouldn’t.
1. Thomas referring to Percy’s communion crackers as “Holy Graham Crackers” in Thomas the Tank Engine.
2. The greeter handing you a Joel Osteen bobblehead that does not properly accentuate his golden teeth grillz.
3. Being forced to make bricks for your pastor’s beautiful, dry pyramid.
4. Being told “Glorgus bless you” instead of “God bless you” when you sneeze into one of your twelve handkerchiefs.
5. Baked beans oozing out of someone’s pants-pockets after the service.
6. Someone playing a laugh-track over the sound system when you’re just trying to keep it 100.
7. A member of your caregroup handing out ziplock bags full of rancid toads to try to fit in.
8. Rick Warren personally keeping track of your progress in “The Daniel Plan” diet on a clipboard.
9. The pastor dedicating an entire row of pews to his “Cabbage Patch Kids” because they light up his world.
10. The church bulletin being printed out on the backs of live, wild turkeys.
11. Justin Taylor of The Gospel Coalition squirting his maple syrup on your tie.