Martha Linderson walked over to a Clifton, New Jersey flea market expecting to find some old rugs and wild monkeys in cages, but what she actually saw changed everything. An old Gypsy named Ryoneth sat patiently at her table with a few viles of liquid in front of her. Martha, a former Harvard student, was immediately triggered eleven or twelve times. After recovering from her trigger spell, and recovering from recovering from being triggered by the trigger spell, she approached Ryoneth and asked about her viles of liquid.
“After she micro-aggressed me several times, I asked her about the strange juice she was selling. She told me about ‘Abundance,’ which attracts prosperity and magnifies joy and peace. Then she described a glorious oil called ‘Sacred Frankincense’ which is ideal for those who want to take their spiritual journey and meditation experience to a higher level. Finally, she showed me the good stuff.”
“The good stuff” shocked and probably triggered Martha again. “Through faith in the riches of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit that is provided to us, we have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Now we can circumvent that whole process by applying these beautiful, moist, pungent Essential Oils that contain the same stuff. I don’t need faith anymore, because I have it in this tiny, oily, glass container!”
Martha left that old Gypsy a changed and extremely triggered woman. “Now, whenever I am angry, I don’t have to trust in the free gift of peace provided for me in Jesus. I just drop ‘Peace’ into all the holes in my head,” Martha whispered almost incoherently. “If I find myself withholding care from one of my children for micro-aggressing me again, I dip a banana in a cup of ‘Goodness,’ take a bite, and start caring for my children again.”
Perhaps Essential Oils are essential after all?