Now that Houston, Texas is under water and about to receive a second wave of destruction from Hurricane Harvey, members of the anti-fascist group “Antifa” are stuck at home twiddling their clubs and knives with nobody to beat senselessly in the Houston area.
So. Sad.
“We wanted to throw a truck load of metal pans and bricks at the innocent, fascist citizens of Houston, Texas this week, but we can’t even get close to them because of all of the flooding,” claimed an unidentified member of the terrorist group. “They keep talking out loud, expressing opinions, and living otherwise peaceful lives. Who will disturb them now with careening cinder blocks and leather whips?”
It is nearly impossible to quantify the pain Antifa must feel as they are unable to express themselves by breaking laws, destroying property, and ignoring acts of basic human decency.
But according to a Houston resident, there’s a silver lining.
“This disaster will cost Texas billions of dollars and has claimed more than twenty lives,” Roland Trimptramp told The Daily Cherub. “But one positive in all of this is that Antifa can’t make my face black and blue with blunt force and knuckle sandwiches. We are just out of their reach.”
What a humbling experience for Antifa.
