Local Church Changes Official Stance On “Covefe”

Drastic!

Whoa.

San Jose Church of God in San Jose, California did the unthinkable this morning and changed its official stance on covefe. Covefe had gone largely ignored for decades at SJCG, but, since it has become such a hot button issue in the last few days, it was forced to take a stand, for or against.

This particular moral issue is one of no small consequence. There couldn’t be more at stake.

“There is no middle ground here — you are either pro-covefe or anti-covefe,” Tony Dinza told us, an elder at the church. “For decades we could simply ignore the issue, and now the squishy middle has vanished for good. The space where broad-minded people could hang out is rapidly disappearing.”

According to SJCG’s official confession of faith, “[Covefe] is incompatible with Christian teaching. Therefore, those who hold to covefe are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in any capacity at San Jose Church of God.”

Drastic!

Some within the church were unhappy with the decision. “When you hate covefe, you hate me,” said Mindy Loof of SJCG.

The world is rapidly changing before our eyes.

Categories
News
Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.

RELATED BY