HUMBLING: Exhumed Remains of George MacDonald Reveal Shocking Secret

He truly was a king, but a king of a different kind.

A shocking and horrifying secret was revealed earlier this week after the remains of noted Scottish author, poet, and minister George MacDonald was exhumed. Suspicions had long surrounded the Christian mystic and his death — regarding what exactly, no one was quite sure. 

One thing that everyone was quite sure of: MacDonald was as suspicious as an old decrepit man sitting alone on the shoulders of two, morbid old men.

It was discovered upon the exhumation of MacDonald’s cremated remains that he was, in fact, King of the majestic “Lizard People.” His ashes contained bits of scales, fine gold jewelry, and other regal paraphernalia. The discovery is shocking the world so much that people are just rolling around and around and around.

Those who personally knew the author and pastor were aware of the truth all along. Mark Twain reluctantly became MacDonald’s friend only after he had assurance that he would not be eaten or enslaved by the icky Reptilians. 

Oswald Chambers espoused many of the mystic’s teachings and encouraged others to do the same. It has long been suspected that Chambers was also a dirty Reptilian, given his devotion to MacDonald. Some of his American friends, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Walt Whitman, are also suspected of being secret “closet” Reptilians.

It remains to be seen how this shocking revelation will affect the Christian community in the coming days. If other prominent writers and theologians are discovered to be Lizard leaders, the ramifications could be catastrophic.

Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.