Cincinnati, Ohio — As promised during a campaign speech in Virginia, Donald Trump sprouted a set of fully-feathered wings and made an attempt to fly around the U.S. Bank Arena to prove he is an angel or a Christian or something. It is rumored Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. gave him the idea to convince Evangelical voters.
“We will make America great again!” President Elect Trump screeched as he took the podium from stage right. The crowed roared as he removed his suit jacket and shirt to reveal the buds of two wings on his beautiful orange back.
He was able to get off the ground but eventually would slam into the first row. “Trump is a Christian, 100%,” said Martha Winstonson from Cincinnati. “He proved it with those weird, hairy bird-arms that exploded out of his back. I cried and was convinced he will make Christianity great again. We just aren’t winning anymore, like Moses in Egypt. He is our special flying Moses.”
Trump would eventually give his speech, which would indeed ruffle many feathers in the main-stream media.