Close your eyes and imagine with us for a second – you pull up to your church in your moist, white Toyota Camry/Prius, you storm through your church’s door, grab a mug of hot, grainy coffee and make your way to your favorite pew only to find one of these famous flea bags selfishly claiming the whole pew in a pacifist sprawl. Well, it could happen. These 10 rich and famous types could crash your church party this coming Sunday:
1. Naomi Watts
Best known for her acting skills and cat food collection, Naomi likes trying new things like church going and bird watching.
2. Keith Urban
America’s best tiny Trebek impersonator enjoys a calm, relaxing snooze in nearby church pews.
3. Kawhi Leonard
This San Antonio ball-bouncer may just have a pew snack for your hungry face during service on Sunday. Ask politely.
4. J.K. Rowling
This famous inventor of the swivel chair can be found sharpening her hole punchers in mega churches across the pond.
5. Magic Johnson
He’ll be there.
6. Ricky Gervais
Entrepreneur, radio aficionado, and part time barista – Ricky likes to wear his Snuggie to church.
7. Will Ferrell
America’s funniest left-footed man is widely known as one of Hollywood’s most consistent church hoppers.
8. Ron Paul
If your church serves any type of pre-service breakfast, you’ll be likely to find “Ronny the Politics Man” there with his tin plates and plastic spork!
9. Rick Scott
Bring enough scalp balm to share just in case old man Rick decides to grace your pew with his skeletal presence. Rick is known for trying to start the wave during pre-sermon celebrations in any Southern Baptist Church service he attends.
10. Macaulay Culkin
If you find Mr. Culkin sprawled across your favorite pew, try to help him understand the sermon by translating everything into “Home Alone” analogies so he really gets it.