Be Warned: We’re Not So Sure Evangelical Pope Russell Moore Knows What “Milque-Toast” Means

"When he claimed his worship leader's fine, beautiful hair was 'on-fleek' and 'milque-toast,' we knew it was time to divulge this information."

We don’t know what to do with this information — perhaps we should simply keep this to ourselves — but it seems like Evangelical Pope Russell Moore isn’t really sure what people mean when they say “milque-toast.”

Again, we feel that it is prudent to raise awareness here. Russell Moore recently spoke to a large group of Southern Baptists in Kentucky, and, let me assure you, he used “milque-toast” in all the wrong places and outside of appropriate contexts. We dont’t want to frighten you, and please don’t kill the messenger, “milque-toast” is not a word Russell Moore is using correctly.

Let us be clear: Russell Moore is a fine, sturdy man who collects rocks, runs the ERLC, eats adequately-cooked beef, and has purchased naming rights to at least a dozen stars in our galaxy. However, when he said “Reading the Word this morning was so fresh and milque-toasty that I couldn’t wait to tell you all what God was teaching me,” we knew he had jumped the shark.

When he claimed his worship leader’s fine, beautiful hair was “on-fleek” and “milque-toast,” we knew it was time to divulge this information.

Don’t let this ruin your Valentine’s Day or inspire you to rent a bouncy house. Just know that Russell Moore isn’t able to use the term “milque-toast” appropriately.

Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.