Barbara Walters: How I Stopped Worrying About Predestination

I used to spend hours upon hours wrestling with the concept of predestination - but not anymore!

I used to spend hours upon hours wrestling with the concept of “Predestination.” If God had chosen me before the foundations of the earth, does that nullify my free will? Did I choose to believe in Christ, or is belief itself a good work that cannot be done apart from God? Where does God’s omnipotence and my free will intersect? These questions filled my thoughts, dreams, and absolutely any free time I had. Not anymore. Not since I realized that my ears and nose will literally never stop growing.

You see, it was hard for me to go about my day-to-day activities when I couldn’t answer whether salvation is a free gift received by choice or divine appointment. However, once I learned that the cartilage in my body will never stop growing, I don’t have any time left for these thoughts. I’m too worried about whether my fragile, sterile neck will be able to hold my head up if my nose continues to balloon into an enormous mass of scent-detecting flesh.

I used to stay late after church, asking my pastor question after question regarding whether God’s choice of me was based on his foreknowledge of my acceptance of him or not. Now, however, I still stay late after the sermon is over, but mainly to ask my pastor why a loving God wouldn’t limit the growth of my head lumps. I also ask him about how big Methuselah’s snout and ear -hole flaps grew before he became worm food.

People are always surprised to hear how caught up I was in trying to determine the meaning of “Predestination” in the Scriptures. I never reached a satisfying answer. 

Now my unquenchable curiosity is focused on the inevitable truth that my body is being hijacked by ever-growing cartilage lumps.

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