1. Am I old enough to spell the necessary words to formulate a cogent thought on the subject?
There’s simply no point in formulating a handsome, politically-charged rant about Ron Paul or “Big Frank” Thomas from the Chicago White Sox if your hands are underdeveloped and your brain is the size of much smaller brain. Forget it: it’s not worth the time or effort it takes to learn how to read or write like an adult, just to put Jesse Ventura on blast.
2. Are all the facts mostly right, with just a little bit of “backwards facts” peppered in to make people really think?
Adding some “backwards facts” absolutely spices a big, fat, boring post up. Not adding any of these is forcing your nearly-dead readers to read things they are wasting their life reading.
3. Will my meat become sour in the time that I write this post?
Hoarding meat in your freezer is a life-long journey full of its ups and downs, disappointments and joy. Remember finding that sirloin steak sitting on a lonely park bench, waiting to be adopted? You climbed those Himalayas so you could get your hands on that precious beef, don’t you dare let it spoil on account of that political rant about Charles Oakley.
4. Is your wife having a baby named “Politics”?
Before you click send, take a quick mental survey: “Is my wife giving birth, and are we naming him “Politics”?
5. Am I comfortable posting my social security number for all my political enemies to see?
Think twice before you enter those digits to prove how serious and angry you are: “Mitch McConnell is a plain, turtle-looking man 565-87-9873!”
6. Can I write this outside?
If you cannot write this post outside, don’t click send. It simply isn’t worth it.
7. Can my budget handle all of that excess cattle that will be wandering my back yard?
Deep down, you know the next step is obviously taking in a large group of cattle and giving them a home in your back yard. This is hard on many single-income families who weren’t prepared for the consequences of firing-off that jab at Ulysses S. Grant.
8. Can I wait until Valentine’s Day to write this?
If you can wait until Valentine’s Day to write your political post, you must.