7 Christian Thinkers Appropriately React To Michael Jordan’s Dunk From The Free Throw Line

“It’s hard not to yell and scream as I reflect on February 6th, 1988."

In honor of Michael Jordan winning the 1988 dunk contest by jumping from the free throw line and “slamming it home,” some of Christianity’s top thinkers reflect on that historic night.

Steven Lawson

“I was in the stands that night, and the people sitting next to me spilled their filthy, wet drinks on me. I stood up and Michael looked directly at me with the eyes of a worried man. As people took their turns emptying their cups of filthy, brown water on my slender figure, I hollerd ‘free throw line!’ Then he took-off with the confidence of a precious condor.”

Mark Dever

“Michael Jordan dunking from the free throw line was really something, and I think about it most days when I’m not training my wolves, Poytmoin and Travis. The unbelievable explosion of his calves, the force with which the ball entered the medium-sized, orange ring — I’m shaking violently just thinking about that fateful night.”

Rachel Held-Evans

“When MJ mysteriously dunked that round-shaped, inflated rubber globule twenty-seven years ago, I was worried how this might affect our already-brittle world. It was deliberately enigmatic and left me so confused as the placing of that brown and orange sphere infiltrated the small circular band. ‘Why is this happening?’ I asked myself. I still am not sure, and hope MJ is on the Terror Watch List.”

Trillia Newbell

“Let’s be honest, Jordan dunking from the free throw line twenty-seven years ago was awful for all of us. Since Mike Jordan made his big calves explode all over the free throw line, Prince passed away, Princess Diana died, and The Prince of Egypt came out. It was gross to see his once-round calves disinigrate on live television.”

William Lane Craig

“What a wonderfully-aggressive sports move! After witnessing Jordan dump out his leg-mush, I tore off my toilet-hole and used an adequate adhesive to put it on a tree. ‘One, two, three!’ I squealed in the snow, but the results were nothing like Michael’s mysteriously dark move.”

Paul Tripp

“I’m personally fine with what he did. It was controversial at the time, but it opened the door to so many wishing to explode their calves on national television. I’ll never blame a guy for trying to be the best he can be, even if it means we all had to witness that gruesome slop spill all over the floor.” 

Matt Smethurst

“It’s hard not to yell and scream as I reflect on February 6th, 1988. The yelling and screaming I am preventing from coming out of my red mouth right now did come out twenty-seven years ago. The fierce bellow was loud and harsh, and it was because M. Jeffrey Jordan emptied his leg-mountains all over the dry court.”

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