Bulletins will always be a part of the church culture, yet very few bodies have been able to put together a bulletin that is both aesthetically-pleasing and information-heavy. These three tips will immediately put you in the right direction and cause your members to hit their hands together so hard that they will make a popping/slapping noise.
1. Add the portraits of your favorite dictators to the front page.
A picture of Kim Jong-Un would spruce up your church’s information-packet — try so hard right now to imagine a large mugshot of Benito Mussolini or Mao Zedong donning your beautiful bulletin. Your church members will receive these bulletins and suddenly feel the sweet warmth of control and order.
2. Spill coffee on it.
You are already drinking pints of the brown sauce during the day: tip that round cup over and watch as the brown consumes your bulletins. Let them dry, and you have zazzed-up bulletins that we can finally be proud of after all these years.
3. Tape a lighter and bottle rocket to one of the pages.
Everything will become bright and explodey in the sanctuary, and absolute nobody will not go home without thinking to themselves, “This bulletin was boring and had no fireworks inside of it.”