There are some things Christians just don’t feel comfortable talking about. The Daily Cherub is here to help. Here are ten things many Christians hate but are too chill to talk about.
1. Getting Your Arms And Legs Stuck In The Grave Of One Of Your Church’s Charter Members
It happends to every single Christian, but that doesn’t make this any easier. You’ll have to listen to Pastor’s sermon from the cemetery again.
2. The Family That Sits Next To You In Church And Eats Uncooked Pasta
Several boxes later, you are ready to give that arrogant dad an icecream knuckle sandwich for desert.
3. Monthly Steroid Tests
You should’ve known. Good luck.
4. Bill O’Reilly Writing His Killing The Squirrel That Keeps Burying Nuts In My Yard Manuscript On All Your Clean Clothes
It would certainly be easier for Bill to use paper, but this is an excellent Evangelism opportunity. Just deal with it!
5. Getting Dragged Out Of Men’s Breakfast By United Airlines
This is awkward, and you hate it.
6. Everyone Always Acting Like The Nintendo 64 Was Better Than The Original Playstation
Clearly the Playstation was better, but we must bear with one another in love.
7. Kim Jong Un Cutting You In The Potluck Line
Sooooooo slow…and quit touching all the chicken legs and sweating on the rolls, amiright?
8. Being Forced To Publically Guess If The Woman On Stage Is Chubby Or Pregnant
Hoooo boy! Here comes the mic. Tread carefully.
9. The Greeters Placing Their Hands In Your Mouth To Check For Cavities And Scallops
“Why do your hands taste like soup?”
10. Decrescendoing Rather Than Crescendoing During The Bridge Of Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)
There should be a fine crescendo there, but your church always decrescendos. Try to keep your head from exploding.