Bumper stickers have long been a celebrated and revered institution within the nomadic circles of Christianity. Over the years, the more mature, mobile believers have spread Christian cheer, values, and sass by plastering these sticky “Emblems of Wit” upon their vehicles. Whether you’re a fan of the “My Fifth-Grader Baptized Your Sixth-Grader” approach, or the “Jesus Christ-in-Coca-Cola-font” variety, the results of this glorious tradition speak for themselves.
Until recently, most scholars and theologians maintained that the sticky roots of the Christian Bumper Sticker (CBS) traced back to John Wesley. Wesley was thought to have invented the practice when he pinned a piece of parchment to the back of his squeaky, old carriage. The note was inscribed with the now famous line, “Screeching, Teaching, and Preaching!” However, new findings have challenged this belief.
Historians have recently uncovered several first-hand accounts that seem to indicate that William Tyndale is the true father of the CBS. Reportedly, several British peasants witnessed Tyndale riding through London with a banner draped over the backside of his steed that read “I read Hebrew and Greek, I’m a Translation Geek.” Another account written by a nobleman from Cambridge reports that Tyndale once visited his town with the phrase “Translate the Vulgate” carved into the back of his carriage.
These findings only serve to shed an even warmer, glowing, but slightly pale light upon a tradition many hold dear to their red blood-pumpers.