Shocking: Accountant Finds Paul’s Lost Corinthian Letter In Excel Spreadsheet

"I was just working on a cash flow analysis, and I had to open some new tabs in the Excel spreadsheet..."

Phil Treddleton is not a very exciting man. One look at him in his tucked-in polo shirt and his round, thick spectacles and you’ll be ready to hit the proverbial hay for a mid-day slumber fest.

Seriously, we cannot overstate how boring and uneventful Phil’s life and conversation skills are and how droopy and itchy your eyelids will become if you spend any time whatsoever around him. It comes as no surprise then that Phil’s much more interesting and charismatic coworker at Smitty’s Accountant Emporium, Tandy Lynch, was the one to make what many are calling “The find of the century.”

This past Monday, Lynch was “crunching numbers” and “churning the accountant butter” on an Excel Spreadsheet when he stumbled upon a hidden tab. According to a quick Google search, an Excel Tab is “a handy add-in software for Microsoft® Excel®, which [allows more interesting coworkers to open] multiple workbooks within a single window.” To Lynch’s surprise, this hidden workbook contained one of the lost letters the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church.

“It’s an incredible find,” said Treddleton in a monotone, dreary voice that could put rabid rhino to sleep. We stopped listening to the rest of mouth-sounds he mumbled off.

Lynch, on the other hand, was much more interesting to listen to as he said, “I was just working on a cash flow analysis, and I had to open some new tabs in the excel spreadsheet. When I opened that third tab, there it was. Various formulas and pivot tables that were clearly put together by the Apostle Paul. It’s just amazing to see how Excel proficient and organized he was. He clearly cared deeply for the Corinthian believers.”

It’s hard to predict what the ramifications of this find will be to the evangelical church, but it’s very easy to tell which accountant we’d all prefer to handle our tax returns: Tandy.

We’d rather work with Tandy Lynch.


Sign up for The Weekly Cherub
Receive special offers, cast your beautiful gaze on updates, be automatically signed up for prizes, and enjoy the most popular posts of the week.