Mark Driscoll: “I’m Sick Of Being Covered In Cactus Needles.”

"I let out a yelp, sat down right in the parking lot, and proceeded to pull out those needles one by one."
Mark Driscoll, Pastor of The Trinity Church

Our completely random transition to Scottsdale, Arizona and the subsequent planting of  The Trinity Church has been wonderfully smooth, and has had nothing to do with circumstances that have come before. As a family, we are thankful for our new church that has welcomed us as their own — again, under circumstances that are 100% not under our control.

While the year-round temperatures have been a nice change, allowing me to ride my bike and take my six pit bulls out for a stroll whenever I want, I’m sick and tired of running into wild cacti arbitrarily growing around every corner. Sissies and men who pee sitting down used to really bother me. Now all these cactus needles covering my body are getting me down.

Last Sunday, fresh-off a sermon on male anatomy, an elderly woman grabbed my hand and took me outside to introduce me to these strange new oils she was selling. As we exited our beautiful facility that in no way mirrors a certain church in Seattle, she accidentally walked me right into a set of the “Green Pokers.” I let out a yelp, sat down right in the parking lot, and proceeded to pull out those needles one by one.

Grace and my beautiful children couldn’t be happier about our new life out here. The kids are in sports and dance, and Grace has a spectacular group of girlfriends. I have friends too, but most of my nights are spent yanking those long, painful needles out of my body. It would be one thing to simply walk into them, but I am constantly in full-sprint during my morning workouts. I cannot see those cacti, and I inject myself with hundreds of those sharp things.

In five years, I hope to be able to witness The Trinity Church multiply into several other churches in Phoenix and beyond. I would like to see church ministry done in Africa and Asia. I would also hope that these needles don’t somehow cause cacti to grow inside my body and poke all my vital organs. Again, I am not regretting the completely random, unforeseen circumstances that led to this move. I’m mostly tired of picking cacti seed out of my skin.

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