According to a report given to The Daily Cherub this afternoon, scientists have finally discovered the key increased pizzaz-levels, and it will totally force you to say things like, “Ahhhhhhh…this hit the spot,” “I wish I could put this into a syringe and administer it right into my bloodstream,” and “Please, don’t talk to me or expect me to humbly obey my Savior until I drink a couple cups of the ‘Big Brown.’”
The incredible, bitter, brown fluid is ready to sweep the nation, and it has already reached the Evangelical world, including Pastor Rod Stone’s church, 1st Church of Christ of Springfield, Missouri. “People in my church love ‘The Big Brown,’” Rod told us. “It seems like everyone is sucking on it and increasing their pizzaz-levels. Before, when I preached, people were always tired. Now that everyone drinks ‘The Big Brown,’ people are happy and the room is filled with the hot, sassy aroma.”
After doing some research of our own, we learned that K-Mart is currently selling their own version of the hot, brown water. According to their MySpace page, consumers are encouraged to “‘Power walk into the store and demand ‘The Big Brown’ from [their] employees. They have been instructed to fill up a bucket and give it to you immediately.” Try it for yourself!