Icky: 18 Non-Christian Behaviors In Traditional Golf Etiquette

We've uncovered a list of 15 traditional golf practices that are deplorably non Christian. We're guessing number 12 will come as a huge shock!

Golf, also known as “Scotland’s Remorse,” is a Lawn Care Sport often associated with high-class manners and etiquette. When done properly, golf is often a lofty, dreamy, and almost ethereal experience where the sportsman will stop at nothing to deposit the “Celtic Egg” within its earthly nest-hole. 

However, the uglier side of golf has long been hidden from the unsuspecting Christian. We’ve now uncovered a list of fifteen traditional golf practices that are deplorably non-Christian. We’re guessing number twelve will come as a huge shock!

1. Wishing “Thor’s most delectable luck” upon your fellow golfer’s prior to tee off


2. Partaking of “Merlin’s Biscuits” on the 7th hole


3. Referring to trees as “Lupert’s Menacing Logs”


4. Whispering the lyrics to U2’s best hits during an opponent’s putt


5. Commiserating a double bogey with a traditional “Nordic Hex Dance”


6. The ceremonial “Wizard’s Beard” that must be worn on any shot taken from a sand bunker


7. Firing a Civil War-era musket into the air to signify the commencement of the “Witchcraft Round”


8. Sprinkling saw dust on your shoes if a dove is seen


9. Relentlessly mocking your ancestor’s use of the sun dial


10. Reciting Hemingway’s To Loathe A Homeless Man to get yourself into “The Putter’s Frenzy”


11. Carrying a piece of  William Wallace’s femur bone in your golf bag


12. Heckling the Ghost of Christmas Past


13. Singing the ceremonial “Golfer’s Warlock Anthem”


14. Lighting a candle for Tiger Woods’ Roth IRA


15. Tipping you caddy with “Jezebel’s sweets”

 

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