6 Simple Ways to Disappoint Your Youth Pastor Over the Holidays

It’s that time of year: teenagers from all around the USA will exit their classrooms, grab a set of work gloves, and begin working in coal mines and gun...

It’s that time of year: teenagers from all around the USA will exit their classrooms, grab a set of work gloves, and begin working in coal mines and gun factories to provide for their families.

Thanksgiving Solstice has arrived, and the teens are working too hard.

They will eat moist vegetables and ground spam every night when they come home from their exhausting jobs, not leaving much time for silly games, small group meetings, and crafts. Now more than ever, the neglected Youth Pastor needs a good disappointment or two served up on a silver platter to fulfill his contractual agreement with his church. That’s right. We’ve compiled 6 simple ideas for disappointing your local youth pastor.

1. Bring a Bible version that he doesn’t like, like the Weathered Cowboy Version (WCV). This is a sure-fire way to receive his grumpy eyes, thereby fulfilling his contract.

2. Never participate in discussions. Simply gargle salt water or whip out your pan flute and play a noble jingle when he seeks feedback.

3. Rebuke his loved ones in front of him. Quick and easy.

4. Take his mail and hold it ransom. Give it back to him when he lets you be the Youth Pastor.

5. Bare knuckle box him every time he begins a sentence with “so.”

6. Commit so much tax fraud.

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