Father Of All Bombs: “I Should’ve Paid More Attention When She Told Me How To Use The Wash Machine”

"The Brother of All Bombs and Uncle of All Bombs plan to help as often as possible"

The US-launched MOAB (Mother of All Bombs) blew up an ISIS stronghold last week, killing dozens, and now the FOAB must deal with the harsh realities of being a single dad.

So sad!

“The FOAB and I had many BOAB’s, and now I am all on my own. How will I support them? What will keep them from fighting and exploding all over each other while I am at work or doing errands? How do I do laundry? I don’t even know,” remarked an anxious FOAB. “I should’ve paid way more attention when she showed me how to run the wash machine.”

The Brother of All Bombs and Uncle of All Bombs plan to help as often as possible, but both have jobs of their own. “I work at the steel mill seventy hours per week,” lamented The Brother of All Bombs. “I’ll be there whenever I can, but I don’t see how I can be there as often as he needs me.”

The FOAB is looking into babysitters and daycares, but many are hesitant to allow small bombs into their facilities. We spoke with one daycare that the FOAB reached out to about looking after his BOABs, and it appears they certainly aren’t jumping at the opportunity. “We have a strict no-bomb policy,” the daycare manager replied.

“I will be looking into legal options,” the FOAB told us. “There appears to be some real bigotry and Bombaphobia these days.”

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