February 18, 2017
We asked these 6 Nebraskan farmers to guess the height and weight of “America’s Golden-Mouthed Preacher,” Joel Osteen. The results are heart-warming:
“I’ve seen his type before. I’m going to say he’s 5 foot 5 inches, and 130 pounds.”
– Thomas Harvy
“Judging by his tiny eye sockets, I’d say he’s 5 foot 1 inch, tops. Maybe 185 pounds.”
– Derick Tintleton
“7 feet 8 inches, 205 pounds.”
– Gary Brown
“That man fills out a suit well. I’m going to guess 5 feet 10 inches, 170 pounds.”
– Roger Goodell, (no relation to the NFL Commissioner)
“6 feet tall, 150 pounds.”
– Quin Billup
“That boy loves to eat corn. He’s 5 foot 7 inches tall, and weighs approximately 163 pounds.”
– Garry “Dukes” Orndangles
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