Someone please get over to Arizona and toss this man some sloppy salmon.
Pastor Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona is still perching on top of his pulpit — several hours after the church service ended. He is waiting for somebody, somebody, to do the deed. No members of his church had a salmon prepared for this moment, so maybe you’re in the area and can help?
According to witnesses, he’s standing right there on his pulpit waiting. He’s a patient, composed man, but a guy reaches his limit. He’s been slapping his oily, moist hands together, making noises like “HI-YUP! HI-YUP!” and “TEN-TEN-TEN-TEN-TEN!” and “SWEEP! HOBO SWEEP!” The sweat is rolling from his brows and he has been having several tearful moments: maybe if someone grabbed a few salmon and tossed it up to him, he could go home and see his family?
He works hard and sincerely believes the King James Version is the only acceptable English translation ever made. There’s a lot going on in his life. If you would just be kind enough to toss a warm fish towards him, por favor.
Someone toss a sloppy salmon up to Steven Anderson. Please.
