After Hurricanes Irma and José blasted their high-pitched noises out of their big center holes, fluttered up and down like the inside of a bread-maker, and fueled themselves on old wooden ships in the Atlantic Ocean, it’s important for Christians to know some key facts about the incredible mystery scientists call the “hurricane.” Here are three things all evangelicals should know about them:
1. The very first hurricane ever recorded was called “The Windy Susan.” In May of 1436, Ralph Buckstream of Europe wrote a fascinating journal entry, “Salome was caught up in the great wind and carried into the water whilst singing ‘a deep track from Neil Diamond. She was gone for good. The Windy Susan had its way with her” (emphasis ours).
2. Hurricanes emerge when five or more people within a one mile radius flatulate toward one another. Ever wonder how each and every Windy Susan seems to have its own character, style, and fashion? Every single ‘cane is different in its own way because of what scientists have termed FPSI or “Flatulance Pounds Per Square Inch.” If the FPSI has devastating force, the Windy Susan will as well.
Wow!
3. When the chewy center of a hurricane passes through a city, it is tradition to open up a new Denny’s during the time of peace. It’s not all bad when a city is encounters a big Windy Susan. The larger the Susan, the larger the chewy center; this means more time to put up that Denny’s and maybe even grab a cup of coffee. “When hurricane Andrew hit us years ago,” Florida resident Linda Bilf told us, “we built that Denny’s, and I had the very first Grand Slam ever served there.”
Hurricanes are interesting.
