3 Well-Known Christians Describe The Death Of Their First Tamagotchi Pet

So sad...

Celebrities are people too. They experience sadness, hunger, and have to go to the bathroom several times a day! Following along as Kay Arthur, Denzel Washington, and D.A. Carson explain what it was like to lose their very first Tamagotchi pet. Remember: we are all in this together!


“The death of my first Tamagotchi pet was… horrific. I didn’t get a chance to play fetch with it, send it to war, or teach it how to write tricky spam emails for senior citizens. I mainly just cleaned him up when he defacated and felt responsible to pay off his student loans. To be completely honest, if Bernie was President right now, I wouldn’t have had to worry about one day dealing with my Tamagotchi’s incredible student debt. Basically, he was a duckling that was supposed to grow into a beautiful swan, but he got Hepatitis because I served him undercooked meats and didn’t push the middle button enough times.”

–Kay Arthur


“I enjoyed playing with my Tamagotchi, who was a rhino persistently craving a bowl of chili, which, unfortunately, I was unable to provide for him. I was always there to clean up his latest steaming pile of stool, and I truly enjoyed learning to play the saxophone with him. However, I murdered this Tamagotchi by ruthlessly pushing the left button. I had a sneaking suspicion he was trying to take my role in Man On Fire.” 

-Denzel Washington


“When I lost Peter Pan, my Tamagotchi dog, I was devastated. I spent weeks feeding Peter Pan, training him to shake, sit on command, and clean up his own stool. It is truly amazing how we are all hanging on by a thread, hoping a huge sumo wrestler doesn’t walk into our offices and sit right down and crush the life out of us. We could die at any time, which is exactly what my Tamagotchi did in the short period of time between doing my hourly vocal sirens and irresponsibly lighting hundreds of candles. Thankfully, on the bright side, I won’t have to worry about his crippling student debt anymore.” 

–D.A. Carson


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