Heartbreaking: Jesus Fish Symbol To Be Replaced By Extreme Close Up Of Ross Perot’s Face

"We feel that this colorless close up of the part of Ross Perot's head that isn't completely covered by hair is the way of the future."

The fish symbol has long been used to identify Christians and bumpers of poorly driven vehicles world wide. Occasionally it is also used to identify stores or restaurants that sever fish. Once, it was used to identify a small, tent-like structure in the Arizona desert in which a certain homeless man named Dale spent a few months living. All of that is about to change. Forever.

The Jesus Fish Symbol is set to be replaced by an extreme close up of a black and white photo of Ross Perot’s not-yet-completely-wrinkled-face this March. The move is a risky, unprecedented decision to re-brand musty old t-shirts and soccer mom vans.

“It’s time for a change,” says a grinning, squinty-eyed Paul Nardston from the Center for Christian Branding and Marketing. “The fish has served us well for about 2,000 years, but the times are changing. We feel that this colorless close up of the part of Ross Perot’s head that isn’t completely covered by hair is the way of the future.”

Nardston went on to explain that the CCBM conducted various studies and focus groups to determine the best replacement for the fish. CCBM executives decided to pull the trigger on Ross Perot’s smiling, skin covered face once they discovered that “Ross Perot” is also an anagram for “Store Pros,” “Poor Stress,” and “Roper Toss.”

“It’s really remarkable to find such a versatile and beautiful symbol for our Christian faith and heritage,” continues Nardston. “I firmly believe this close up of Ross will come to symbolize all we hold close to our warm, wet hearts for the next 2,000 years.”


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