Our Favorite Quotes From Tim Keller’s New Book “Rules For Dating My Sister”

Wisdom drips from every page!

This past Monday, NYC pastor and part- time Jamba Juicer Timothy Keller released his soon to be newest best seller, Rules for Dating My Sister. “This book is a collection of letters and journal entries I’ve written on the subject over the past 30 years,” says a slightly queasy and pale Keller. “I really think it might be my masterpiece. I think the church is ripe for a paradigm shift on our stances and beliefs when it comes to the courting of our female siblings.” We couldn’t agree more, and we hope you’ll enjoy our five favorite quotes from Keller’s sweaty little book:

1. “I will not permit a man to take my sister, who has the same life juice pumping through her blood tubes as I do, to a bowling alley with the glow in the dark pins and balls. It’s just not the way the game was meant to be played. The same goes for glow in the dark put-put.”

2. “Any time a man asks me something like, ‘Hey Timmy boy, is your sis single?’ I just stare at the floor, brush some invisible insects away with my foot, and hum the national anthem in a low, hushed manner. That usually gets them to walk away and stop asking.”

3. “Perhaps the most important rule for dating my sister is that there will never, under any conditions, be the use of pet names. You will refer to my sister by her given name, ‘Gertrice.’ If I so much as hear a whisper of ‘honeysuckle’ or ‘baba-bibbidy-babe,’ game over!”

4. “Over the past 30 years I’ve really noticed a large, gaping hole in my life due to the fact that I have no siblings. And that, I believe, is what stirred me to write this fragile, sterile book you hold in your lumpy hands.”

5. “Will the Chicago Bears ever change their name to the ‘Windy City American Football Squad’ and be affectionately referred to as the ‘WCAFS?’ Not if you don’t get your stubby little child-ish hands off my sister!”


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