5. The Moldy Prince
This man will garner your attention immediately as you gaze upon his wrinkled skin and pear-shaped pupils. Knowing every book of the Bible but unable to discern the difference between James the son of Zebedee and Jesus’ half-brother James, the Moldy Prince is a terrific addition to your church family. Just don’t follow him to his car as he will intimidate you with hot oils and no longer attend your morning service.