1. The Gusty Gentlewoman
You’ll recognize the Gusty Gentlewoman immediately by her swollen smiles and over-exuberant handshakes that will likely result in her development of osteoporosis in her late 60’s. The Gusty Gentlewoman will attend every funeral brandishing a gun and wearing suspenders. For a few croissants, she will sing that old Irish folk-song, “Whittle Me a Miniature Pirate,” during announcements. What a joy!